Eeny, Meenie, Miny, Moe

If you have a case against State Farm, you’re already in the game. Judge Senter made that Rule. What you’re trying to do is stay in the game – and to keep playing you need a lawyer.

To start the pick-a-lawyer game, just pick one – Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe.

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe.
Catch a lawyer by the toe.
If State Farm squeals, don’t let go.
Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe.

My mother said
To pick the very best one
And you’re it!

You picked Eeny. Sorry, you’ll have to pick again. Eeny’s second cousin twice removed went to kindergarten with the third son of the second wife of the uncle of Dickie Scruggs.

Pick again.

Meeny, Miny, Moe
Catch a lawyer by the toe.
If State Farm squeals, don’t let go.
Meeny, Miny, Moe.

My mother said
To pick the very best one
And you’re it!

Oops, sorry, you picked Meeny. You’ll have to pick again. Meeny’s mother was a lawyer with an office in the same building as a lawyer who once used the phone in an office previously occupied by a lawyer who sat next to Dickie Scruggs in freshman English when they were at Ole Miss.

Pick again.

Miny, Moe.
Catch a lawyer by the toe.
If State Farm squeals, don’t let go.
Miney, Moe.

My mother said
To pick the very best one
And you’re it.

Oh, you picked Miny. Sorry that won’t do. Miny’s mother worked at the Waffle House in Pascagoula. One day Mr. Scruggs came in and had breakfast. Miny’s mother poured his coffee but she didn’t ask him how much he was paying the Rigsby sisters and and if he had enough work for them, so Miny’s out.

Pick again.

Moe
Pick a lawyer by the toe.
If State Farm squeals, don’t let go.
Moe

My mother said
To pick the very best one
And you’re it.

You picked Moe. There’s a problem. Moe’s regular yard man was out of town and Mrs. Moe was having a party. The guy he found to cut the grass also cut grass for Dickie Scruggs. That means they had a contractual relationship with the same yard man. Although it was just for a day, it’s still a joint venture. Sorry.

Pick again.

What you say? With Moe gone there’s no mo’ pickin’ you can do? Sorry, you lost the pick-a-lawyer game. That means you’ll have to play the only other game in town.

It’s a mind game called Settle – also known as the RICO-Qui-Tam–Keep-Away game. You’ll get some money, sign your rights away to any more, and give State Farm a free pass.