"Suck it fishes and birdies" – BP decisions making Goldman's "prophesy" our WTF reality

So much for the post I’d planned to write before I remembered that I’d saved  Goldman Sachs Reveals it Shorted Gulf of Mexico quoting the email from “Goldman employee Fabrice “Fabulous Fab” Tourre” to his girlfriend bragging about the firm “taking a ‘big short’ position on the Gulf:

Think the owner this former BP station near Mobile might have been just a little bit worried about what the BP image might do to his business? The reader taking the photo said the Shell logo was pasted over BP,and even the pumps had signs signs declaring, "This is a Shell product."

“One oil rig goes down and we’re going to be rolling in dough,” Mr. Tourre wrote in one email. “Suck it, fishies and birdies!”

Gotta tell you — there are probably a lot of out-of-work folks all along the coast who read that and thought how “fabulous” it would be if  a few of those oil-sucking birdies and fishes could give Fab a “big short”.

Speaking of short, just how tall do you think BP’s 12-year-old “expert” might be? The Sun Herald picked up the story from Carl Hiaasen, columnist for the Miami Herald, who reported this “absolutely true news item”:

British Petroleum says it is considering a plan to plug the main leak on the sunken Deepwater Horizon oil rig by shooting it full of shredded car tires, old golf balls and knotted ropes.

You decide if the rest of Hiaasen’s column is “absolutely true”:

BP announced today that it has fired its top engineer for safety design and replaced him with Jody McNamara, age 12, a sixth-grade honors student at the Dwight Eisenhower Middle School in Tulsa, Okla.  McNamara…was offered the BP job after a panel of industry experts selected his 250-word essay, “How To Stop Undersea Oil Leaks Really Quick,” over thousands of other entries… Continue reading “"Suck it fishes and birdies" – BP decisions making Goldman's "prophesy" our WTF reality”