Jaunita Jean reports Texans getting “foreign aid” to survive cold weather

When I read this massive storm was the result of cold air from northern Texas meeting tropically warm air from the southern part of the state, I raced to “the world’s most dangerous beauty shop” for Juanita Jean’s report on the weather:

“As you’ve learned here, Rick Perry’s Perfect Texas doesn’t have enough electricity to survive a freeze, and not a monumental freeze at that,” Juanita smiles through slightly bluish lips.

“We’re all walking around with flashlights under our blankets,” she admits.  “We are a hardy people, we Texans,  having survived hurricanes, fire ants, the occasional tornado, and some really bad UT football teams.  However, you wave cold in front of us and we immediately start building a fire in the middle of the living room.  We are not at peace with cold.  We leave that to the Yankees.”

“So, where do Texans go for help when we are desperate to quit shivering?”

“Uh …. blush …  The Tea Party’s Number One Evil … Mexico,” she reports.

No kidding.  Mexico.

While the Tea Partiers are down on the border trying to keep Mexican people out of Texas, Rick Perry’s Texas is trying like the dickens to get in. Continue reading “Jaunita Jean reports Texans getting “foreign aid” to survive cold weather”