If “the best place to hide a needle is in a haystack of needles” then…

The best place to hide a file is in a pile of files!

As you may recall, Judge Berrigan’s Order required the Government to “provide a detailed inventory of what it seized from the premises of 2000 Belle Chasse Highway”:

That inventory shall indicate what was seized, from where it was seized, and on what basis the Government concluded that the seized material was related to River Birch, Inc.

SLABBED has hosted several photo-tours of the third floor of the River Birch office building.  Consequently, I’ve become familiar enough with the Government’s photographs to wonder about the way the Government’s inventory will word the descriptions of the  “what…where… and on what basis” required by the Order.

Let’s suppose for a moment that something was seized from the location pictured below. Do you think Judge Ginger had something like this in mind  for the description of “where” — seized from pile of shit under the empty box atop large tan file cabinet? Did she consider the possibility that a description of “on what basis” might read — Agent A said with so much shit piled up everywhere we needed to take the whole pile back to see if what he’d found was evidence purged from those boxes marked “FRH Purged Files” that were headed for “Storage”.

If you need a little Friday night fun, try your hand at rewording my description or Continue reading “If “the best place to hide a needle is in a haystack of needles” then…”

Judge Berrigan orders River Birch to file a floor plan with the Court! (no s#!% – she really did!) UPDATED with photographs

Lordy, lordy, Judge Ginger ordered Heebe to send Nowdy a Valentine – not really but sorta!

IT IS ORDERED that Plaintiffs provide the Court with a floor plan of the third floor of 2000 Belle Chase Highway by Monday, February 14, 2011 by 10:00 a.m. ♥  If the Government has a floor plan of the third floor of 2000 Belle Chase Highway, it shall also provide a copy to the Court by Monday, February 14, 2011 by 10:00 a.m.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that the Government provide a detailed inventory of what it seized from the premises of 2000 Belle Chasse Highway. That inventory shall indicate what was seized, from where it was seized, and on what basis the Government concluded that the seized material was related to River Birch, Inc. It shall also indicate which items have already been returned to Plaintiffs. This inventory shall be submitted in the record by Monday, February 14, 2011 by 10:00 a.m.

After reviewing the Government’s inventory Plaintiffs shall submit a memorandum regarding what seized items they believe should be returned pursuant to this Court’s previous Order by Wednesday, February 16, 2011 by 12:00 p.m.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that the Government provide the Court with a status update of the review of allegedly privileged documents seized from the third floor of 2000 Belle Chase Highway by Monday, February 14, 2011 by 10:00 a.m.

She also order Heebe-Ward-River Birch to submit to an IQ test – again, not really but sorta.  I mean just how smart would these folks be to use the Government’s inventory as a shopping list – like, well, “give us back that evidence showing we…”

The rest of Judge Berrigan’s Order might have been written by the Queen of Hearts:

“Who’s been painting my roses red?
WHO’S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED? Continue reading “Judge Berrigan orders River Birch to file a floor plan with the Court! (no s#!% – she really did!) UPDATED with photographs”

Just a thought – How big is the average mailbox in Jefferson Parish?

Yeah, it’s a slow news day on the slab –  probably, better stated as quiet before the next news storm.  However, it’s a good day to pick up the thought I dropped while covering the birchers so-called volley in the “Tournament of Trash“:

Is the average mailbox in Jefferson Parish large enough to hold a poster?

Unlike our Twice Right AG, I’ve been (ahem) twice wrong – the two River Birch epistles-to-the-voters of Jefferson Parish were not printed on an 5.5″x8.5″ card, as I guessed.

Instead, both were unfolded, full-size 8.5″x11″ posters – in other words, larger than a  residential mailbox meeting USPS standards!

  • Curb-size boxes are a standard 8.75″H x 6.5″W
  • Mail slots are a standard 2.25″H x 7.25″W

The standard size of a unit in the multi-unit mailbox found at most residential apartment complexes is 5″H x 4″W – the same width of typical black metal residential mailbox by my front door.

Oops!  IMO, the size issue means the only certain result of the birchers’ effort to trash Waste Management was more trash for Waste Management to pick up!

Just a thought!

h/t  thoughtful reader for providing SLABBED with a copy of latest poster (below) – abundant evidence the birchers need a new graphic designer in addition to the already evident need for a new interior designer! Continue reading “Just a thought – How big is the average mailbox in Jefferson Parish?”

Trading Spaces (not the TV show)

Here’s the River Birch office building.  What do you see?

  • A sign indicating two business occupy the building.
  • A covered entrance at the left end of the building.
  • Double doors opening from the entrance (Right Arrow)
  • A white door to the left of the double doors (Left Arrow)

SLABBED has offered three tours:

As I was cleaning up the photo files, I ran across a couple of pictures that had been overlooked when putting the tours together.  I still don’t have a floor plan.  However, this exterior shot gives some indication of the layout.  Consequently, in this sweep tour, I can update a few earlier guesses with somewhat “educated” guesses and a very helpful “hint” from Tele”. Continue reading “Trading Spaces (not the TV show)”

Pete and Repeat sat on a fence – Hood repeats warning, Young repeats attempt at revirgination, Peytavin pumps another Peytavin – but too much snow to see the fence!

According to Mississippi Ag: BP claims process violates law(Mobile Press Register), Jim Hood has put paper behind Mississippi’s interest in a transparent, fair, and fast BP claims handling process:  (h/t Y’all)

Mississippi Attorney General Jim Hood continued Tuesday to assault the Gulf Coast Claims Facility, saying in a federal court filing that its activities violate federal and state law and again asking the judge to intervene in the claims process…

In the filing, Hood contends that Feinberg’s process, by freezing interim payments, increases the financial hardship on claimants and makes them more likely to sign away their legal rights.

Details of Hoods allegations are summarized in the Press Register story (h/t to reporter Dan Murtaugh) and detailed in Hood’s Memorandum of Authorities in Support of Statement of Interest on Behalf of the State of Mississippi (below in scribd format).

Judge Barbier shouldn’t need reminding a similar financial hardship resulted in claimants signing away their rights following Hurricane Katrina only to discover more damage later. Nonetheless, I’ll repeat myself and say that Attorney General Hood is now Twice Right and Judge Barbier should heed the warning.

Speaking of someone who shouldn’t need reminding, John Young should know better than to make another transparent effort at revirgination – but, alas, he does not and NOLA.com reports Continue reading “Pete and Repeat sat on a fence – Hood repeats warning, Young repeats attempt at revirgination, Peytavin pumps another Peytavin – but too much snow to see the fence!”

Guess what’s behind the door marked “office” – not unless Monty Hall led the search of Heebe-River Birch!

Judge “Ginger” won’t see 99 boxes of files on the wall behind the door simply marked “office” –  or a description of this surprisingly different “common space” in the Heebe-River Birch “tour guide“.

Of course, no one would want to call Judge Berrigan’s civil-right’s-focused-attention to the obvious “discriminating” taste of whoever decided to cram “the little people” in modules at the “expense” of this fine custom-designed space.

Surely, it’s not an absurd argument to claim that Oriental carpets of exceptional quality should only furnish the office space used by exceptional people – “high type folks” who can be trusted to sit on leather.

Below, a collection of gold-framed paintings hang over a custom-made desk with a leather executive chair.  Directly in front of the desk is Continue reading “Guess what’s behind the door marked “office” – not unless Monty Hall led the search of Heebe-River Birch!”

99 boxes of files on the wall, 99 boxes of files, take 1 down, pass it around, and leave with 25!

After downloading a few more parts of Exhibit A to the Government’s “tour guide” of the River Birch offices, I’m amazed the search team left with only 25 boxes of files.  The “wall of files” in the photograph below was clearly visible to anyone “entering the office suites” after stepping off the elevator to the building’s third floor:

The Heebe-River Birch plaintiffs claim the “numerous boxes labeled ‘scanned leases’…[are]…an immediate indication of the presence of Shadowlake Management”, in other words, a different company from River Birch.  Not so, says SLABBED and every parent with teenage children!  Labeled boxes are an “immediate indication” of  – drumroll – labeled boxes!

However, the search team didn’t enter from the lobby.  The government’s “tour guide” noted “Special Agent Bezet stated in his Affidavit that he…used the stairway to the third floor…and photographs…were taken contemporaneously with the search”.  If so, by the time Bezet reached the wall of files and labeled boxes pictured above (photograph #131), he’d seen:

this (photograph #15) Continue reading “99 boxes of files on the wall, 99 boxes of files, take 1 down, pass it around, and leave with 25!”

Ladies and gentlemen, Fred Heebe is your docent for this tour of the River Birch office building

Maybe next time, Unslabbed, but Fred had his people write the tour guide and it’s only right that he give this tour of the River Birch office building.  Sorry.

“After entering through the glass front door, there is an open doorway straight ahead and a stairwell on the left…”

 

“The plaintiffs would then suggest that the Court enter the elevator room and take the elevator to the third floor, again noting the building directory…On the third floor, outside the elevator, is a waiting area with two chairs and a small table.” Continue reading “Ladies and gentlemen, Fred Heebe is your docent for this tour of the River Birch office building”

Tour guides filed for Judge Berrigan’s tour of River Birch office building

Welcome to 2000 Belle Chasse Highway, Gretna, Louisiana – the offices of River Birch!  The third of the three documents in Scribd format below is the government’s Digital Photographic Log – a descriptive listing of the photographs taken in the raid of River Birch and Exhibit A to the Memorandum filed by the United State’s.  Each of the 29 parts of the exhibit has to be download separately and then each of the photographs must be resized before uploading to SLABBED.  Stay tuned for more!

[scribd id=47754255 key=key-15qtmd3p6lgepn5vaqty mode=list] Continue reading “Tour guides filed for Judge Berrigan’s tour of River Birch office building”