It is clear from my detailed analysis of traffic patterns……

That you good folks in the Slabbed Nation love documents. I happen to have a few of the kick ass variety in the document store but I’ve become ambivalent to the entire lawsuit scene. I mean heck, how many times can Aaron Broussard’s business associates file the same merit-less defamation suits against me and expect a different result.  We take federal court matters seriously however as that is the only way to roll.

I gotta be careful here lest Slabbed New Media incurs the wrath of the good folks over at Psychology Today, as has previously happened when I repeated the meme that repeating the same failed action over and over again expecting a different result is textbook insanity because it isn’t. That said what is in play here is the incomparable Babs herself which is appropriate considering Slabbed’s subject matter was BrousStar and the Dragon queens.

I’m not gonna spend a whole lot of time explaining how we got to Document #37 beyond saying a few weeks ago Slabbed was first visited by Kamikaze Goats and this is my reply via my lawyers Scott Sternberg, Brodie Glenn and the good folks at Baldwin Haspel. Click the pic to nab the 9 page pdf and set your alarms for May 15 down on Camp Street:

Abel v Handshoe and AMV Doc 37-1

12 thoughts on “It is clear from my detailed analysis of traffic patterns……”

  1. I just love this additional Haspel factory “brief” . this model is a tight, firm, uplifting supportive brief whereas the Abel “brief” is deficient in support, needs suspenders in law and fact; and can’t hold up the burden of Abel’s gross limp generalities in the groin area.

    Doug, son you’re going to love the way you look in these “briefs”, I guarantee!!

  2. The reason that these pleading/motion posts get so much traffic is that they give the average layman an insight into how the courts work. They give us an opportunity to follow the volleys as they go back and forth- and give us an opportunity to view savor professional argumentative writing which is very helpful when pleading something as simple as a merchandise return.

    We all owe you for our CLE credits. Thank you.

    1. Thanks Ricardo. Abel actually said in his pleading that Judge Guirola found me guilty of defamation. It suggests a break from reality which requires heavy meds, very heavy meds.

      1. C’mon now! Don’t you know his lengthy, rambling, shitty brief was caused by a conversion between two versions of the word processing program only discovered on the evening of filing?

        WTF is next?

        1. I’m serious. My head and eyes hurt after 3 pages of his brief. Did he even bother to address the issue of whether or not he is a public figure?

          IMH, non-attorney opinion, the Slabbed legal team (clerks, paralegals and secretaries included) submitted a brief that a magistrate and judge would prefer reading.

  3. Abel’s loosey goosey “briefs” will be “exposed” in Court in front of Honorable Judge Morgan, Abel’s face will turn red from embarrassment, his hanging “tangenital” allegations will be struck, he will double over holding his “pencil”, will then be ordered to mend and pull up his “briefs”; that is if his “briefs” actually remain intact after his ass is savagely ripped,chewed on and spit out.

  4. This filing hit the internet today. 1:13-cv-01569 United States District Court Northern District of Illinois. See page 17 for the smackdown that begins with

    “Plaintiff’s defamation claims ring as hollow as it’s principals collective heads and should be dismissed. None of Defendants’ actions as alleged in Plaintiffs’ Complaint compromise a tort. Nor can Plaintiff reach the clear and convincing standard required by Minn. Stat. 554 regarding its allegations or tortuous (or as plaintiff would have it, “tortioius”) conduct.

    Also note the request for Punitive Damages in this anti SLAPP action which is a part of the Prenda Law hot mess clusterfuck.

    Link to this filing:

    Link to coverage of this at Ars Technica:

    1. My point exactly.

      The right sidebar has room. I’m saving it for the right Mississippi law firm. 🙂

  5. Well written memorandum. It really paints Mr. Abel as the conspiracy theorist that he is. Also, how out of touch are he and Randall Cajun that they keep acting as if the Trout Point gang still has a valid defamation judgment. I guess they have as much respect for the First Amendment as they do for Judge Guirola – zero!

  6. They should hire Maxwell/Walker Consulting. I hear they’re really good at this sort of thing!

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