If “the best place to hide a needle is in a haystack of needles” then…

The best place to hide a file is in a pile of files!

As you may recall, Judge Berrigan’s Order required the Government to “provide a detailed inventory of what it seized from the premises of 2000 Belle Chasse Highway”:

That inventory shall indicate what was seized, from where it was seized, and on what basis the Government concluded that the seized material was related to River Birch, Inc.

SLABBED has hosted several photo-tours of the third floor of the River Birch office building.  Consequently, I’ve become familiar enough with the Government’s photographs to wonder about the way the Government’s inventory will word the descriptions of the  “what…where… and on what basis” required by the Order.

Let’s suppose for a moment that something was seized from the location pictured below. Do you think Judge Ginger had something like this in mind  for the description of “where” — seized from pile of shit under the empty box atop large tan file cabinet? Did she consider the possibility that a description of “on what basis” might read — Agent A said with so much shit piled up everywhere we needed to take the whole pile back to see if what he’d found was evidence purged from those boxes marked “FRH Purged Files” that were headed for “Storage”.

If you need a little Friday night fun, try your hand at rewording my description or be creative and use the photograph below the jump or select one shown in one of the tours:

Suggestions for music, anyone?

9 thoughts on “If “the best place to hide a needle is in a haystack of needles” then…”

  1. “Your Honor, we submit this falls under the Krispy Kreme Doctrine:

    ‘We’ll take one of these; dozen of those; oh how about a box of those files over there, and say what’s in that computer room over there say that looks good let’s have some of that; and….'”

  2. Clever, Tele! I’m racing to finish something I’ve got to get done before I can play around round or two of CLUE but I did notice that at least one $2100 political contribution to Shepard was made from Gretna (Julie’s).

    I should post that on the CLUE thread later and leave this one for creative wording and suggestions for Friday night music.

  3. While I was freezing my ass off in solitary confinement in “The Windsor Court St. Bernard”, wearing a “green turtle”, being treated like I was a “suicide case”, with not so much as a blanket underwear or even a pair of socks, “The Federal Bureau of Constipation” and the U.S. Marshalls Service “invaded” my house pursuant to a “search warrant”, which allowed them to seize my computer (a laptop – the fucking assholes didn’t find the child pornography) and guns (the fucking assholes didn’t find the machine guns or the mortar or flame thrower). But they “raked” my home from the attic to the utility room, AND FOUND NOTHING CRIMINAL. So I really have NO SYMPATHY for the “River Birch” people. And I have even less for “the Feds” who are Gestapo motherfuckers, and INCOMPETENT, all at the same time. Ashton O’Dwyer a/k/a “The WHITE Henry Glover”.

  4. Fuck you Ginger… we took what we wanted without your permission in the first place…we have had enough time to copy everything, and we thank you for that opportunity…better yet, why don’t you go through all this shit and tell us what you want back after you figure out this ‘whose office is whose cluster-fuck’ on the 3rd floor at 2000 Belle Chase Hwy…

  5. I like that Kidd! I’m wondering if whatever it is that Heebe-Ward-River Birch don’t want see might be the evidence the Government discovered and filed under seal.

  6. Government response:
    With all due respect ( you figure out just how much we think is due to you) Judge, after carefully reviewing the photographs we want everything else shown in all the photos. We think the entire building is responsive to our subpoenas and want it locked down under Federal Marshals immediately. (there appears to be some walls and ceilings that don’t align quite right indicating possible crawl spaces and false walls).
    Oh and Judge would you please sign the enclosed Search Warrants for the first 100 other River Birch associated locations we want to search. The one for the Nova Scotia properties will have to be sent to the US Dept of State for review so if you would kindly sign that one first?

  7. FBI agent: “We only hauled away that which appeared to be woody waste; after all, wasn’t that what River Birch’s contract originally called for?”

    Judge Berrigan: “Yes, but the scope of the search was expanded, just like the contract that the Council illegally signed with River Birch; so, I will deny River Birch’s Motion to Quash.”

    Fuck you, Fred Heebe, you cheater.

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