Juanita Jean on Tom Delay

I’m stealing one of Nowdy’s tricks but after several pre-Thanksgiving beers I can’t help but throw props over to Juanita Jean and The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon. Blog moderator Susan lives in Richmond, Texas which happens to be “in the heart of Tom DeLay’s old district” where “it’s nuttier than squirrel poop”. I think we should all take her word as definitive when it comes to her old congressman Tom DeLay. Wouldn’t it be nice if this area had a DA like Ronnie Earle:

Ronnie Earle would fight a rattlesnake with one arm tied behind his back and give the snake three bites head start. And he’s so honest that you could shoot dice with him over the phone.

I imagine that the words “I will destroy you,” have suddenly disappeared from Tom DeLay’s daily vocabulary. I honestly don’t know if they sell Viagra for hammers.


In this episode of Magnum JD, Magnum throws a curve and ends up in a fix: A 4717 St Charles Avenue orgy update.

Folks, never in our short history has a topic resulted in such intense reader interest as our chronicling of the adventures of John Houghtaling aka Magnum J.D., who has claimed the mantle of being Wendell Gauthier’s hand picked successor (along with various and sundry other myths) as he reinvented himself into a political kingmaker of sorts. With that in mind and with an obligation to correctly report the events let’s review what we know about Magnum’s mid summer backyard sex party:

In October I received a tip that Magnum’s new neighbors on St Charles Ave were circulating a petition calling on him to move as he was hosting sex parties in between political fundraisers for folks like Gidget’s Billy Nungesser and Bobby Jindal.  So the story went, the straw that broke the camel’s back was a wild sex party with Stormy Daniels.  I immediately put out the word that we needed the arrest paperwork, which turned out to be the hardest pieces of paper we ever procured in terms of time and effort.  I immediately contacted the neighbors that were listed as witnesses and was told to come to Muni court on 11-16 to hear all the gory details.

In the meantime, we did learn that Stormy Daniels was not involved with Magnum or his sex party but that he did have a former girlfriend from the sex industry named Stormy Schouff, who evidently was also Sidney Torres’ (of SDT trash fame) former girlfriend as well.  I’m told that Stormy has since “gone legit” and since she was evidently not involved in the sex party in question she is not fair game here on Slabbed though the name explains the confusion in the local rumor mill.

So on the 16th our researcher and myself head to NOLA Muni court to get the skinny.  The experience was an interesting one and frankly we were impressed by how the courtroom was run compared to similar courts here in Mississippi (that attempt to make the criminal justice experience as painful as possible).  Magnum of course came in through the backdoor and we didn’t see too much of him. Continue reading “In this episode of Magnum JD, Magnum throws a curve and ends up in a fix: A 4717 St Charles Avenue orgy update.”

Dueling Turkey Posts

Seeing a Turkey Cartoon, I could not resist and had to bring out the first grade big guns (or axe) version.

As set up to our Thanksgiving Story we will first recount Nassim Taleb’s now famous story of the fat and happy Turkey  (link):

Current trends and recent history can also be dangerously misleading. Taleb uses the example of the Thanksgiving turkey that is being fattened up for slaughter. As the turkey sees it, daily experience reinforces the image of the butcher as a benefactor who can be counted on to provide delightful delicacies on a daily basis — a good friend — right up until the day when the butcher reveals his true intentions. For the turkey the final day of reckoning is a personal black swan event. Leading up to the finale, the turkey clearly misinterprets what is happening around it.

“It is not a good idea to be a turkey,” Taleb said, but he adds that statistics and numbers often turn us into our own version of the proverbial turkey. “When you have numbers, you tend to take greater risks, even when the numbers are totally random.”

Our story is similar, but notes that sometimes the alert and quick thinking can avoid their fate.  But not if you are a chicken:

Continue reading “Dueling Turkey Posts”

You know Dale, maybe if you didn’t spend so much time doing a private law practice with Tom Capella someone would have taken a backup…..

Folks I’ve been following the Dale Atkins’ disaster from afar, duly noting the irate emails I’ve been receiving about the Clerk of Orleans Parish Civil District Court and the incompetent handling of her office, that experienced a computer crash last month and evidently did not maintain any useful backups.  There is a story behind the story that I will not be telling today beyond highlighting some interesting connections Ms Atkins’ maintains.

Over a decade ago I had the misfortune of taking  on the Single Audit of a so-called institution of higher learning the State Auditor’s office suddenly had lost interest in. The reason was the institution had suffered a catastrophic computer crash which they were still recovering from when I showed up on site to begin fieldwork.

Evaluating internal controls over the various computer systems is part and parcel of any audit and I quickly learned the director of the MIS department was evidently a bang-up band director before snagging the high level administrative position overseeing the institution’s computing systems, no doubt helped by the fact that his wife, a beautician by trade who was then the institution’s bookstore manager, reportedly was shagging a senior member of the administration. Continue reading “You know Dale, maybe if you didn’t spend so much time doing a private law practice with Tom Capella someone would have taken a backup…..”

gobble, gobble, grumble …

As a child, I loved Thanksgiving; but, as an adult – well, let’s put it this way, like the turkey, it’s just not my day.

Why the FDA doesn’t require turkeys be sold with a “Surprise, inside” label is beyond me. Clearly! If you place a heavy bird on the table with a thud, you shouldn’t be surprised when a bag of turkey personal parts sticks out its backside.

I learned that the hard way as a young bride – just as I learned that buying the last frozen turkey in town means turkey-in-the-tub and a very late dinner.

My latest lesson – and a recipe for disaster – holiday travel plans can not be effectively communicated by e-mail. Consequently, I’m assuming the ever helpful Heloise probably emailed the hint that produced these results:

Don’t assume you’re always going to be understood. I wrote in a column that one should put a cup of liquid in the cavity of a turkey when roasting it. Someone wrote me that: “The turkey tasted great, but the plastic cup melted.”

I am most thankful for all of you who read SLABBED but, otherwise, thankful the holiday only comes once a year.   By the way, with my goose cooked, I’m shopping for duck.


Jim Brown

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010
Baton Rouge, Louisiana


So what’s with all the criticism about taking a sabbatical? It’s become a big issue in my home state of Louisiana with educators, legislators, and good government groups debating the value versus the cost of taking a little time off. A sabbatical let’s a person get away from pressures and responsibilities back home at the job they were hired to do. Traveling around the country let’s one do research to better focus on the job at hand when the time comes to get back to the real world of responsibility. So let’s quit all the criticizing. Let Bobby Jindal travel and take his sabbatical in peace.

The cost of sabbaticals for academicians has been an election focus for Jindal, as he crisscrossed the nation during the campaign season in support of Republican candidates. But Republicans running for office in Louisiana were not able to garner the Governor’s endorsement as he took a “hands off” approach and refused to endorse his incumbent U.S, senator as well as a fellow Republican’s bid to be second in command as Lt. Governor. But be a conservative leaning candidate in just about any other state from coast to coast, and Jindal has been glad to lend a hand in any needed fund raising effort. Louisiana incumbents who found themselves in political trouble, like New Orleans congressman Joseph Cao, were left to fend for themselves with no hopes of any help from the popular governor.

When the election season came to an end in early November, many expected Jindal to come home and face his gubernatorial responsibilities. After all, the state is facing a monumental deficit that now approaches $2 billion for the coming fiscal year. Education at all levels is on the chopping block with universities facing major cutbacks requiring wholesale layoffs to make up the shortfall. The state health delivery system is mired in controversy as the medical community raises troubling questions of how indigent healthcare needs will be met and paid for. Time for the Governor to come back home and take control.

But that’s like asking an LSU professor to cut his year abroad short by coming home and, God forbid, actually have to go into a class room and teach. You do have to set your priorities in both the business of teaching and government — right? Look, when one is on sabbatical, problems at home will just have to take care of themselves. Professors and governors need a little break from the humdrum life of teaching and governing. Continue reading “Jim Brown”

Hi everyone, I’m backkkkkkkkk….


Been off doing the paying work thing. I should have time to blog and return emails over the next few days. My apologies to those that wondered, wrote and still didn’t get a reply.


Judge Senter sharpens his carving knife on Orders in Rigsby qui tam

Actually, Judge Senter pulled his knife out at the end of last week and while I was trying to find time to get those two Orders  posted, he was sharpening his knife on two more – but what  he has in mind is no  turkey, it’s the December 1st  Status  Conference on his schedule:

I have decided to continue the trial of this case from its present setting on December 1, 2010, and to set a status conference on that date to hear from all parties on the merits of the motions that remain undecided at that time.

Two motions pending “at that time” and mentioned in his  Order were the Government’s motion to vacate Judge  Senter’s  Order dismissing defendant Forensic and the Rigsbys’ motion to reconsider the scope of the proceedings.

These motions are fully briefed, and I do not anticipate requiring any additional briefings at this time. After this conference, I will reschedule the trial to accommodate my rulings on the pending motions.

Judge Senter should have known State Farm would consider that an  invitation.  In that context, today Judge Senter sent “regrets” to Butler Snow – and denied State Farm’s motion to declassify portions  of 30(b)(6) deposition of TRG (The Rendon Groups)in support of “the good neighbor’s “motion to dismiss the Rigsby’s case for repeated violations of the seal.  In his Order, Senter stated:

After reading the materials submitted in support of this motion, including the Rule30(b)(6) Deposition of the Rendon Group [Document 756, Exhibit 1] and theSupplemental Responses submitted by TRG [Document 756, Exhibit 2], it appears to me that the material in question has only marginal relevance, if any, to the merits of the State Farm motion [739] to dismiss. Continue reading “Judge Senter sharpens his carving knife on Orders in Rigsby qui tam”