“It’s not easy being green” – and life’s hard in “red states”, too

It’s not easy bein’ green.
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things.
And people tend to pass you over ’cause you’re not standing out
like flashy sparkles in the water- or stars in the sky.

Kermit certainly should know about the difficulty of being green; but, I suspect he’d find being green in a Red State even harder.  This letter from the Blue States of “New California” to the Red States offers an interesting assessment of the differences between the two groups.  More about that after the letter.

Dear Red States:

We’ve decided we’re leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we’re taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren’t aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss. We get 85 percent of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we’re going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they’re apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don’t care if you don’t show pictures of their children’s caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we’re not willing to spend our resources in Bush’s Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country’s fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95 percent of America’s quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford , Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we’re taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico

Peace out,

Blue States

While I don’t share all the views in the letter, I sadly believe it an accurate reflection of how most in our nation feel about the red-states. I don’t share all of Obama’s views either; but, I eagerly await the opportunity to cast my vote for him.  The “change we need most” are leaders who conduct themselves with the dignity he has shown in rising above the gospel of fear preached by McCain-Palin to our common shame and theirs.



12 thoughts on ““It’s not easy being green” – and life’s hard in “red states”, too”

  1. Well, proximo, I wish for you to stop by more often – and, if I understand your comment correctly, perhaps you’ll feel somewhat better knowing that while I wish for the return of dignity, I pray for the success of the one we elect tomorrow whether it’s “That One” or the other.

    In case I don’t get time to post my support for Roger Wicker, I’ll add that here!

  2. A blogger on the Clarion Ledger posted on the same subject recently.

    Funny how a region that dooesn’t pay taxes sure likes to bitch about how they pay too much.

    Thank God for places like California and New York or we’d really be up the creek.


  3. Great catch, Sop.

    Think of how close we’ve come to being exactly like all that our founding fathers rejected when fighting the War of Independence.

  4. It is not that I am so “pro-McCain” as I am “anti-Obama.” I cannot believe that this great nation is about to elect someone with so many STRIKES against him for the office. He may very well be a fine, Christian person but if I were interviewing this guy for one of my managers, I couldnt hold my nose and do it.

    He is running to be the leader of the strongest nation in the world. He is going to control the most advanced weaponry and arsenal of military force that the world has ever seen. He is going to directly pick judges for several layers of our court system. All of the above is going to be done by a man with less time in national government than most people spend in college trying to get qualified for their FIRST job.

    Also, think about the fact that as a nation, it appears we are about to hand over ALL 4 BRANCHES OF GOVERNMENT to ONE political party. Can anyone tell us the last time THAT was a good idea?

    The man and his party’s policies scare the bejeezus out of me. Yes, I am moderately well off and will be in his “crosshairs” come time to “spread the wealth around.” To that end I can tell you that me and several of the other business owners I socialize with have already started developing our lists of who we will cut loose from our employment first if this guy goes the way he talks. You can call it greedy, mean-spirited, whatever. But I built my organization from the ground up without any help from the government and if they want to penalize my efforts but will take care of the people I let go of, why should I worry right?

    Tell me what this man was doing 5 years ago? What has he done to prepare himself for the power of this position except learn how to give good speeches (from a teleprompter no less,) and accept money. How is our country better off by a “free press” that has basically PUSHED this guy down your throats.

    Sop, as for your remarks, your right. Your state doesnt pay in as much as it gets but if you have business owners there like we do here, you’re gonna hear a lot of bitching when they start doing the same things…..letting people go, cutting hours, cutting back in services provided, etc. Ya see, it isnt about greed per se. If you get used to a certain lifestyle (or more factually, your wife and kids do,) and then a large part of the money that pays for that lifestyle is taken away, you have to either cut your lifestyle (not likely) or cut your overhead (usually people,) or increase your prices. Call it what you will but as a businessowner, it’s simply called balancing the books.

    One more thing Nowdy, I love the site but am more interested in the Qui Tam stuff than all this political, perdigao, etc. I “lurk” a lot and chime in on occaision. Keep up the great works.


  5. Sorry, couple more points I had to post….

    I am Catholic. Not with a little c like Biden and Pelosi. With a BIG C. I am 100% against abortion in any way shape form or fashion. I am also against the death penalty. We as a nation should remember that the founding fathers wanted us to have certain principles… life, liberty, pursuit of happiness. BUT THE FIRST ONE IS LIFE.

    Obama is a co-sponsor of the bill to take away ALL STATES RIGHTS when it comes to abortion. Look it up. The bill states that federal law ONLY will dictate over abortion. For those that like our democratic republic, you should be scared stupid that any party will enact a law that strips states of their rights. There’s already been one war fought over this same concept. What if the next thing they want to strip you of is your gun ownership. Free press. Right to trial by jury? Do you get my drift? When you give one political mindset THAT MUCH CONTROL without any checks and balances, bad things, nay, VERY BAD THINGS can happen. If Obama and the dems demolish our country badly enough so that in 4 years a complete sweep takes place and every branch of government is led by republicans will YOU be happy? Think about it.

    Also, would any of you vote for such a person with all of the skeletons (Rev Wright, Rezko, Ayers, Fannie Mae, etc.) in their closet if you DIDNT hate George Bush and the last 8 years so much? Anger is NOT an agenda. A priest wrote in a paper I recently read that said voting for the lesser of two evils is still less evil than doing nothing and letting the greater evil prevail.

  6. I’m with you on being a Catholic with a Capital C. You got it right Proximo, abortion is worng and so is the death penalty. So are civilian deaths in Iraq, a war we didn’t have to fight that we went into on made up “intelligence”.

    So the choice is not clear cut at all. Bush and his Republican comrades have lots of innocent blood on their hands. I don’t think God gives them a pass on that.

    So in the end do we reward the folks that got us into this mess or give the other guy a chance? This is nothing to do with hate as much as it correctly assigns accountability for the mess that has been made.

    Being a small bsuinessman who understands taxes it is clear to me Obama’s plan is best for all of us. Joe the Plumber as a substitute for real business people and plumbers is an insult to the men and women who do that sort of work everyday.

    Leave it to McCain to try to pawn off a loser as a proxy for the people who are the backbone of this nation’s economy. This plumber was bright enough to take advantage of the loser version. And unlike the loser version McCain and Palin like to pal around with this guy actually has a license.

    Qui Tam will kick up soon enough.


  7. Thanks, Proximo, I always enjoy reading your comments that give me a mind’s-eye view of your thinking.

    I, too, have concerns about the concentration of power; but, the reason it’s likely to happen – increased civic involvement – is a cause for celebration.

    An analysis of Obama’s “style” talked about how he reacted to potentially explosive situations – his ability to avoid fueling a situation with his reaction. The writer had asked him about it and Obama said he thought the American people could be trusted to think things out. The writer noted that when a particular allegation had been made, Obama had simply said, “no I didn’t do that” and that the American people gave it some thought and most agreed (polling result).

    I don’t think we’ve had many President’s as qualified as Obama and always amazed when his qualifications are questioned, particularly by someone as smart as you Proximo – and don’t believe it would be the case if more understood the implications of his experience.

    What we have is a Constitutional scholar experienced in dealing with the impact of the misapplication of Constitutional principals on the everyday life of citizens.

    Leaders that lack that personal knowledge of both sides of an issue do not make balanced decisions – and that’s reflected in the imbalance of policies that result in situations such as the financial crisis we have today.

    You might enjoy reading the NYT series with views of Obama’s thinking provided by his former law students. It’s a pretty easy google but read the various comments and commentaries – particularly those that reviewed curricula and exams he prepared that are linked to the article.

    Taken together, they indicate that, if elected, Obama will surprise people by making decisions contrary to their expectations – and for many, you included Proximo, a pleasant surprise.

    Check it out as IMHO he’ll do more to protect your interest that spread your money around.

    Glad to know you’re lurking and of your interest in the Qui Tam case. I’m currently researching/writing a series of related posts with working title, “The Scheme: you lived the movie…”. It’s taking a lot of time but I hope to have first installment up in day or so. Look forward to your comment on that and welcome suggestions.


  8. Good replies both of ya. Sop, I don’t like how many of our soldiers or innocents have died in Iraq or Afghanistan. Whether the intelligence was made up or not, going in was the right thing to do for humanitarian reasons if no other. We didnt have nearly the threat to us from Bosnia either but we went in to help stop a genocide. I think the argument could be made that the same was going on in Iraq. Should we be “world policemen?” I dont know. But, that is what we did when we went to help Europe in WW2. Germany hadnt attacked the US…they attacked our allies. That is what allies do. I know it is a stretch but what Saddam was doing to his own people needed to be stopped. How many lives did we -save- by going in? Only God knows. You know, mentioning plumbers, what does it say about a party whose state officials investigate a plumber because he speaks out against their side? What they did is pretty scary when you consider it. That is why I appreciate the anonymity of blogs. I dont want somebody diving into all of my history and then leaking it to be used against me. That is what happens when power corrupts…and remember what absolute power does… (like having control of all 4 branches of government.)

    Nowdy, he may be an EXCELLENT constitutional scholar and would be a fine judge, etc. But a lot of his articles dealt with the Warren Supreme Court and he talks about that court not going far enough to wipe away the stains of past racism, slavery, etc. You can be TOO influenced by your side of an issue as well. I also dont know how much experience a 40-something year old has and how it can be greater than his opponent. Also, the increased civic involvement is a GREAT reason for the RIGHT people to be in power. BUT, (ya know it was coming….) only if the civic involvement is due to an honest reaction to issues and not because they have been LED their by a biased media and hollywood “icons” I wont vote for someone because some famous actor who I like says to, but a LOT of undereducated, lazy voters will do that very thing if they dont educate themselves about the real issues and how the person they are voting for will affect their lives. It is nice to feel good, but if Satan himself was running for office and promised to make everyone’s pain go away, put billions in everyones bank account, end world hunger, solve the energy crisis, etc. for the small cost of your soul that you cant even prove exists, he would get elected by the partypeople that dont see anything wrong as long as they’re happy. I dont think EITHER candidate was the best person for their party to nominate but we are stuck with what I said in my earlier post…the lesser of two evils. I just happen to see a lot more evil in a person that doesnt value the sanctity of life.

  9. Proximo, I believe he said the power to end discrimination belonged to the people – the way we treat one another – that some legal remedies would be so divisive they would not be workable, and that if affirmative active denied a more qualified while person a job that was the basis for a legitimate challenge. Those aren’t his exact words, just my memory of the articles and commentaries that I mentioned earlier.

    I believe his statements on abortion indicate his respect for the sanctity of all lives. I’ll look for the quote on that as I don’t have the recall of the points of his constitutional perspective that were twisted into claims that he didn’t value the sanctity of life.

  10. Proximo, the second he put himself out as a public figure speaking for small business Joe da Moron opened himself up for that.

    Of course having boarded and now blogged a long time I have a certain amount of first hand sympathy for your anonimity arguments, after all, when one steps in the public eye it sometimes gets nasty. Ask Cori and Kerri Rigsby, they could tell you all about it.

    In the end the best trick in the bag of tricks is to have a thick skin. I’ve found that losing the ego is a big part of developing a thick hide. Yep, that would be the trick.

    Our nation’s self interest would have been far better served leaving Saddam in power. You see, if we really acted out of humanitarian concerns we’d be in Darfur area of Sudan too big time. IMHO our humanitaran efforts have a nasty habit of ending close to oil fields.

    Of course Obama favors investing in alternative energy sources instead of drilling the last square inch of Alaska.

    Having spent a fair part of my early adult years working my way through college via the oil patch I’ll add I’m very familar with the environmental destruction drilling causes. Makes our strom surges from Hurricanes worse too. I’ve turned green in my middle age. Again Obama is on the right side there too.

    I tell you what Proximo I’ll give you a stock to keep an eye on since you like the banter here. It’s a company that does construction work – they had a lot of environmental problems with a pipeline job in Oregon a few years back that literally changed how this comapny looked at the construction industry. (I personally love visiting Oregon, especially the area around Crater Lake but that woudl be another post.) It trades under the symbol MTZ. I don’t own it but I may buy in if the price becomes attractive enough. As always do your own DD.


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